Friday, September 19, 2008

Happy Wedding Day!

Today actually in 1 hour I was the day I was supposed to put on the pretty dress, change my last name, eat some cake and honeymoon.
Instead, I'm back in Utah and he's still in Michigan. I only been home a week really. Ok well if you count running off to college for 2 days I've only been back 4 days after having been away almost a month.
Bottom line, I miss the man. I miss taking him lunch, making him dinner. I miss him looking through his new glasses and then over them and marveling at the difference of how blind he really was... and then reading everything with such excitment and saying.. "I CAN SEE THAT!" like a little kid. :) I can't listen to Rhianna's "disturbia" song on the radio without laughing and singing "Scurvy Love" at the top of my lungs or finding a song where I can add cheese or some other "Adonism" to it.

For the most part it was a great trip. Going to the international Jazz fest in Detroit was a good time. There were vendors of every kind selling body butters, oils, ornaments, hats, artwork, crafts and food. I was impressed with the many different band stands all around the city with different works of Jazz music going on.
There were some characters as well, dressed up in colorful extreme costumes. At one point it looked like this bird lady was putting the moves on my man and trying to do some birdish mating dance ritual. Toward the end of the afternoon we ended up on a boat tour headed to canada, it was awesome. (Thank you, honey, for taking us.)
We spent the weekend with his Mother, brother and nephew and I enjoyed it all.

I think my favorite day is probably going to sound odd to all of you.
Where 'Donis has a tough job some days and easy job some days. When it's easy it's posh. When it's tough, I wouldn't want to do it for nothing in the world.

Anyway he had to prepare the rental property for a suprise inspection and had only about 24 hours to do it. He also had to clean out 2 abandoned apartments the day before as well. And when I say abandoned I mean furnature, clothes, food and what not, sometime electrity off and everything. So it could be quite messy and stank when this happens. His complex has 3 buildings and each building has 4 levels (I think.). There was grass to be moved, grounds to be picked up all the steps and halls in each building to be cleaned and vacuumed. Less than 24 hours to get it done.
Oh, did I mention it was 500 degrees outside? Ok maybe 85-90+ with humidity it equals 500 degrees.
I felt like a princess in the tower when he came home to change his clothes. I asked if there was anything I could do and he didn't think so nor did he expect me too. As he left i finished my breakfast. Afterwards I changed my clothes went up to the office and asked him for the vacuum.

If you know me, or anyone in my family... there's no way in the world I was about to sit around for 8 hours when I could be of some help. I asked where I could pitch in. I won't go into the details of what I ended up doing. But at the end of the day both he and I were wringing wet with sweat, filthy and stinky from head to toe and dead tired.

I loved it. I loved every minute of working WITH him that day. We weren't particularly side by side physically but I felt like we became a team that day. Instead of one of us being or needed to be the boss or in charge of the other I felt more able to be a partner with him, and that's very important to me. To be able to work side by side and know I can be of some value to him other than making meals, keeping things tidy and trying to look cute and that what I have to offer is just as important and what he has to offer, there was no greater feeling.

After working so hard I retired to the shower, told him I was taking him out to dinner. My man had worked too hard that day to have just the simply meal I had planned for dinner earlier.
We were tired and sore and tired... Did I say tired? But that day I will always cherish because that's the day I got a glimps of what we can do when we work together.
Yeah I know, sounds silly, I don't care though. There were other times I enjoyed as well and there were days I weren't to crazy about too. He loves to read and he loves his computer. I want him to be able to enjoy those things, they are a huge part of who he is. I also want him to enjoy me AS MUCH and MORE than those other things or to enjoy me BEFORE those other things.
All things in moderation.
So Adjustments, Adjustments, Adjustments! I believe if we both look at what we can do better within ourselves and take to heart the concerns of the other, things will be fine. I'm looking forward to seeing what else we can accomplish together.

Happy should have been wedding day babe.

Saturday, September 13, 2008


That, my friends was a sigh of relief, frustration, anger, sadness, disappointment, anxiety, fear, happiness, peace, elation, joy, satisfaction, expectation... you all get the hint.

Well I guess the title of his post lets you know how HE feels and probably alot of other men who are enGAGed! ;) (just kiddin babe, sort of)
I have TONS to blog about. And most of it will NEVER get blogged. Why, you ask? Because most of it is non of your business. And alot of it needs to be discussed with the man.

As far as our 3 weeks together... it was a much needed visit. I learned what I can live with and what I'm not willing to live with.

'Donis is right about us being pro's and being individuals. I've been told I'm the most comfortable single person people know. ...SIGH.... it's true. I don't feel the need to get married. When I get married it will because I want to be married. Because I have found someone who builds me up and has my back and I know it and feel it 100%. It will be because I've found someone I feel I can live with AND I can't live without. (yeah it's a rant but it's MY rant)

So I've been home 2 days and I've been on the go since I've been home. In reality I'm not even home I'm at parent's week at Utah State University being dorm mom.(yeah was home less than 24 hours then on the road again) I LOVE IT!

K so I haven't had the time to decompress and sit down and think about the visit as a whole. But when I do get home (tomorrow night) and rest up some (monday, prolly tuesday too) I'll sit down and tap into how I really feel about our time together.
Is it wrong for a part of me to think of it in terms of:
"what can being together add to my life that I can't or haven't accomplish being single?"

"am I going 2 steps backwards and 4 steps forward or 20 steps back wards and 14 steps forwards?"

"Do I feel and can I see where I've made a difference in his life for the better?"
Do I feel and can I see where he's made a difference in MY life for the better?"
"Am I missing something in my without him?"

Would this be an incorrect way to look at some of the things? If so holla, cuz that's where I'll start.

I'm so glad we had 3 weeks together. He SAYS he's coming to Utah to visit in October. I hope he makes it :)

....Oh and Yes, baby, you can have all the Candy you want.... it's your blood sugar. :-P

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

i feel like if i dont post something here soon, karyn is gonna burst

the visit is going well i think. i know its been awhile since i've had someone around me 24/7 so its taking some getting used to. i'm sure its taking some time getting used to me too lol

i think the biggest hurdle is that we are both such pros at being individuals, that it is hard to make that transaction from two seperates into one cohesive unit. so the plan is to move slow, so there is a smooth melding, not a hurried mish mash that no one is happy with.

karyn was right about me being more of a serene personality. i mean i like to break out and be wild occassionaly, but for the most part, a quiet night at home with a good book (or my laptop) is a perfect ending to the day for me. apparently this dosent work for her lol we'll work on it. i just never have felt the need to "run around" just for the sake of "running around", and my "entertaining" desires are behind me lol but i wont mind the occassional dinner party...maybe lol

in all seriousness, its going to be an ongoing learning experience, one that i am enjoying! i still have complete faith that we will succeed int his relationship...despite the odds :)

ok baby I posted...can I have some candy now? ;)

Sunday, August 24, 2008


That's right sports fans I made it to the ol' home town: Battle Creek.
And can I just say the traveling was pure hell! Yeah, the only way to describe it. And that's ANOTHER blog for another day.

It's absolutely Twilight zone-ish being back here. In some ways it feels like I've blocked some things and places completely out of my memory. The city has changed so much in some ways and not at all in other ways. It's like being on a different planet and running into parts of your life everyday that you've forgotten about and saying "Hey! What are you doin around here?"

So what's it like being in the old home town with Adonis? It's interesting and entertaining actually.
I'm a lost little puppy dog for the most part. Those who know me as the pit bull are prolly crackin up about now. Yeah, I absolutely feel lost and intimidated. I can feel myself going inside myself for some sort of shelter and I need to make sure that doesn't happen.

So far I've met his grandparents who are so cute and awesome. Gran is funny and there's a soothing peaceful atmosphere around Gramps. I've also met the phantom brother Dre. He sort of comes and goes like a cool breeze. I'm gonna corner him one day and just spend an hour with the boy. I'll only take up an hour though, cuz a man like that needs to be about his "bidnazz..." and who am I to take up his time?
Today is an open house for my Grandmother. Her birthday is today so we'll be venturing to her house in Albion. I'm excited to see the family. I have a neice I haven't met yet that's almost 3 years old. Wait, maybe she's 4 years old. I don't remember. I'm not excited for the Drama that almost always follows these things. Eventually you hope that people learn a dignified way to deal with drama. I doubt that's the case yet. Either way it'll be fun to introduce Adonis to the family...well at least fun for me.

I'm feeling like I'm not on my turf and that's always a little intimidating. I think I struggle most with not feeling comfortable enough to just go someplace on my own simply because I might get lost. Well, I also don't have my own transportation... or key to the building.... or the apt...! LOL.
Now I DO know why the caged bird sings. :) JUST KIDDING! I'm actually enjoying things for the most part. I think Monday I'm gonna go get some things to keep me occupied while Donis is at work though. I AM struggling with feeling unproductive. I feel like slug. That simply ain't gonna work anymore. 5 days of that is enough. Being inside most of the time is getting to me. I keep looking outside expecting to see the mountain range. IT AIN'T THERE! lol. Funny. But I love the greenery of Michigan, that I do miss. There's not too much to do off the cuff in B.C. I can't just go outside and hit a trail to hike. But I could go downtown and just check out old vacant buildings. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be allowed to explore them. And it wouldn't feel right exploring them w/o Dannielle. (remember butch cassidy's cabin?.. Hilarious).

'Donis is more of an indoor city kid: Bookstores, coffee shops, libraries, gaming, reading, tv etc.
Im pretty far from that.

I think my spirit has always been Native American: Being outside camping, swimming, hiking or exploring some canyon, cave, vacant building or cave. Or just being out in the fresh air or yard planting, weeding, grilling, or doing some craft.
Right now I have cabin fever. I like being on the run and doing. I get in trouble and depressed if I'm just left sitting to long zoning at a tv or computer or even a good book.
Funny how differenly people are wired.
I'm also the more social one of us. I'm used to having a dinner party at LEAST once a week, and friends dropping by ALWAYS. Or just walking to the store, or the gas station or the neigborhood.
It'll be interesting to see how we figure stuff out.
So I have to click back into the "Michigan Zone" and out of the "Utah Zone."
Yeah I know it sounds weird. But my brothers and sisters get what I mean.

One thing I'm pretty sure is gonna work out well. I LOVE TO COOK. HE LOVES TO EAT!
When I can't get away I cook to get out my frustrations and anxiety. I don't really eat it all ( the fridge at home is overflowing with leftovers... sorry lyn ;) So It'll be good to have someone around how will.

For the most part things are going well. I think we're getting used to each others quirks and ticks and communication styles. I know it's gonna get interesting pretty soon... I can feel it. Not sure what that means...... but I can feel it...and it prolly needs to happen, whatever it is.

Augh. Sooooooo Anyway, just a quick little update from my point of view.

Hopefully we'll all get to hear about his point of view sometimes soon.

I'll holla back in a couiple more days.

Monday, August 4, 2008


"Hold Please" means SOOOOO many things to me right now. It's what experienced on the phones. It's what I want big daddy to do when I see him. But in this particular case, it's the status of the wedding. We're on hold. Not cancelled. Just postponed, on hold.

I don't even know where to start, really. There has been an obscene amount of craziness happening since finding each other. Under normal circumstances things would be tolerable.
For whatever reason, this summer, the oddest, most complicated situations have gang jumped us.
To be quite honest, I've fallen apart a time or two. Thank goodness I'm immediately surrounded by an amazing support group, and some crazy guy in Michigan who allows me to have my moments and is still standing there for me when the smoke clears. I really should be nicer to the guy, I owe him big time on some stuff. ;)
Anyway, 'Donis is very wise. I know it wasn't really easy for him to approach me about postponing. In my state of mind I could either flip out... or I could flip out. Seriously, even if it IS a good idea, who wants to say to their fiance or even hear them say... "maybe we shouldn't do this right now.."
In our case it needed to be done. I didn't want to do it because I didn't want to disappoint him or give him the idea that I didn't want to be his wife. I'm pretty sure he was thinking along those lines in my case as well. I love the fact that we were on the same page. He wanted to alleviate my immediate stress and anxiety. The other things that were going on I had no control over them happening. We did have control over the wedding though so it made since to adjust it. We need time for the situations around us to settle down and stabilize. And we need time to just marinate in stank of togetherness.

Before things were such that we were pressed for time. Our employment situations didn't really allow us to take time off work w/o putting our employment status in danger. I think one of the blessings in disguise on my end is now I have some time to do that. I'll be flying out to Michigan for 2-3 weeks to spend time with Adonis and his family. ( Oh, and my family too.) In some ways I forget I'm going home, the place where I was born and raised. It's cool that when I think of home, I think of Adonis first. Neato~!
Sooooooo, that's sort of what's going on. I'm proud of how we're handling things, it's not been easy. I'm amazed at our willingness to figure things out and our desire to try and accommodate when things are miscommunicated. I'll step up and say most of this was my fault. I've been impatient, confused, and a little bit crazy.
If there were more of my fiance I could sell him and be rich!
Actually I guess we could make more of him.... but that's a different blog for a different time... So maybe we'll discuss THAT after the honeymoon? ;)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

He's Just So Groovy!!!!

My husband to be is "da bomb" and I'm the whole "shabang." We're going to be an explosive match.
*yeah, I know that's a groaner, but so what it's my blog*

I love that he thinks he's going to wear crocks and sag to the wedding! He better not, but I think it's funny and he'll prolly actually try to.

Sometimes he uses big words I've never heard before and I have to look them up to find out what the crap he's talking about. It makes me laugh at myself.

I have 2 wedding dresses and instead of freakin out about how utterly crazy that is... even to me.. he said... wear one at the ceremony and the other at the reception! Aww! That made me stop feeling foolish about buying the 2nd one :)

When I asked him if we were doing traditional vows or our own... he said he was gonna rap his over the instrumental of "my posse's on broadway." (this still cracks me up!)

I told him I wanted a chicken wing bar and a smoothie bar for the reception and he's down with that!
I said I was gonna pinch him to make sure he was real. He said he was gonna bite me cuz he heard love taste like chicken. (we both like chicken)

When I said to him "what are you gonna do with a night owl wife?" and he said... "tell her goodnight!" lol

I have 2 messages on my phone of him singing to me :) That is EPIC!

My father showed up in town on his door step to check him out and he handled it flawlessly. My parents shock tactics dont phase him one bit.

His family feels like some of the missing pieces to my family and that's really cooliosis.

Him understands me gobbly goop tongue tied words n stuff.

We got us some smart daughters. (I bet they don't have to look up them big ole words lol)

He gets over stuff really fast with no grudges where it may take me a day or two.

On valentine's day I asked him if he was gonna be my valentine and he said "always."

He speaks some french. I don't understand it, but it's HOT!

He makes me laugh, shows me love, and feels like home.