Time and Distance II

I had to step away from my last post and regroup.



I thought it was going to be a long night that night but it ended up not being long enough.



I left off at me returning home after feeling the need to be alone. I could tell by my phone messages the man was concerned. Possibly about the effects of him back in my life was having on me. And that's valid, that was a huge part of it. But my reaction to things were showing him the opposite of what was really going on inside. He mentioned being sorry for any sadness and turmoil he was causing. In actuality he came and turned my world right side up! When someone comes and turns your world in the right direction, it hurts like a mutha to be apart from them. Doesn't matter if it's already been a couple of decades. My heart was feeling every one of them years. I apologized for running off and bailing. And was ready to leave it at that and just suck it in and "woman up" about the situation. I was doing well until he asked me

"what's wrong."

I could just brush it off or I could come clean. hmmmmm.......!

I came clean.

*Note. I can be pretty tight lipped about my needs and insecurities. I'm typically quick to lay blame on people for what I think they could do better in terms of communicating with me*



I just spilled everything I was insecure and frustrated about.

He understood. He listened. He calmed me down and eased those fears. He convinced me everything was going to be ok and is willing to do what is needed to secure those insecurites.

Couldn't ask for more than that. But what he did in reality was give me SO much more than that.

I feel as if I can come to him in any condition and KNOW that I will be well cared for. I can only say that about 2 or 3 other people in my life. I know that I will be listened to, taken seriously and be safe emotionally. It's a bit overwhelming when you don't feel you've really had that in certain depths before.

I am pleased with how he handled me, it was perfect almost like 2nd nature. I feel as if he's studied me for years and figured me out. It really is an amazing feeling.

About once a week I may get this overwhelming feeling of being too far apart. But he always does something to bridge that gap. I don't think he realizes it but he does.


As long as he keeps building those bridges to me, I'll cross over those bridges to him.


He's my heart.